


Looking for Found Family in all the wrong places

by genericfanatic



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst and Comfort, B’Elanna Torres/Tom Paris, Enemies to Friends, Found Family, Hints of Julian Bashir/Garak, Multi, and Benjamin Sisko/Cassidy Yates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Kira Nerys has been running Deep Space Nine practically single handed for 4 years. She’s been watching over the integration of Bajor to the Federation, but still, after 4 years as commander, she still misses her old family. As even more of her former crew decide to leave, new people come in, B’Elanna Torres and Tom Paris, looking for the balance of adventure after their years on Voyager, as well as a safe place to raise their own family. But as soon as they arrive, Nerys and B’Elanna instantly butt heads, and Nerys must figure out her own way of finding her family.
Relationships: Kira Nerys & B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 33
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

Nerys didn’t like the word ‘glum.’ She had felt real despair, real pain. Glum seemed to be a word meant for people who had everything they needed, but pouted when they didn’t have everything they wanted.

Still, Nerys wasn’t sure of a better word to describe how she was feeling now, staring blankly at people happier than her, slowly nursing on the drink Quark has given her.

“You know it’s a party, right?” Ezri said, sliding into the seat beside her, “parties are generally supposed to be happy?”

Nerys shook herself. She hadn’t realized how lost in her own thoughts she had become. “Oh, sorry,” Nerys said, perking up. “Nog didn’t see me, did he?”

“I think you’re safe,” Ezri said, joining her in watching the rest of the party below. Nog and was dancing in the ferengi style with Julian, none the wiser that his commander was accidentally bringing down the party. “What’s gotcha down?”

Nerys sighed through her nose, but tried to keep looking happy. This party was about Nog, not her. “I was just thinking...we lost one of our core four.” Ezri raised an eyebrow, “When chief O’Brien and worf and sisko and...odo...all left, it was like, the four of us, you, me, Julian, and Nog, all were the ones who stuck around. It felt like something stable in all the change.”

“And now that stability is moving,” Ezri said, nodding in her best therapy voice, “So now you wonder what else can change.”

Nerys squinted at her, “what have I said about using your shrink voice on me?” Ezri put up her hands in surrender and apology. “You’re right, annoyingly.” She continued, “I just...it’s been 4 years. And I still don’t feel that sense of...of community with anyone who’s passed through. I mean, the security officers get replaced before I can remember their names. Nog has had to teach the entire engineering system to the last three people who’ve tried, and none of them can figure them out like O’Brien can. We don’t even need a tactical officer or Bajoran liaison anymore, so...that’s...that.”

Ezri gave her a warm smile. “Well, people do move on. And I know Nog is excited to be assigned closer to Ferenginar, what with his new baby brother.” Nerys wasn’t sure, but something in those words stung. “What are we doing when Nog leaves, anyway?”

“Ugh…” Nerys groaned, “starfleets sending another engineer, one who SAYS they have experience with cardassian systems, but so did that lieutenant...lieutenant...oh, damn, what was his name?”

“Topek,” Ezri supplied. 

“Topek, right,” Nerys said remembering the Vulcan with some level of disdain. “Anyway. So we’ll see how she does. And…” she trailed off, remembering the other bit of news the admiral gave her. 

“And…?” Ezri asked.

“They’re sending a first officer.” Nerys said, resigned.

Ezri gave her a warm smile. “That’s good isn’t it? I mean, you’ve been commanding this station on your own for 4 years. Don’t you think you can use some help?”

“Mmm….” Nerys said, worried. “Starfleet’s never been happy to have the commander of this station be someone who hasn’t gone to the academy,” Ezri frowned, not understanding. “I’m...worried. That this first officer is here to take over.”

Ezris eyebrows shot up. “I’m sure starfleet wouldn’t be trying to replace you,” she said, “why wouldn’t they just transfer you?”

“Because the Bajorans on the station still like me,” Kira answered, “and this whole transition of starfleet membership is tricky enough they don’t want to upset them. But, if they start to get used to someone ELSE being around…” Kira was technically a starfleet officer now that the bajoran militia had been integrated into the ranks, but to do it, she had to take some basic academy classes along with everyone else, just to catch her up with regulations she already knew. It was the most boring few months she’d endured, while also being the most stressful as she tried to keep command of the station. 

Ezri took a long sip of water, listening. “I don’t know...IF I were going to use my shrink voice on you, which I’m not, I’d say this theory comes from some form of paranoia brought on by an insecurity.”

Nerys frowned at her, angry as she always was when people could read her. “I’ve been called many things, insecure is not one of them.”

Ezri smirked. “Not to your face, maybe.” Nerys glared at her. “They only say it because they’re afraid of you.”

“Good.” Nerys said, frowning. Ezri just chuckled, patiently waiting for her to continue. Kira was stubborn and watched the farewell party for Nog a bit longer. Ezri won the patience war. “The thing is…” Nerys said, “after four years with Sisko in command...this station, this crew...it really started to feel like a family. I don’t feel that much with anyone new who’s come in.”

Ezri smiled, “it’s harder to see when you're on the other side of the desk,” she said kindly, “and Ben didn’t have to deal with integrating Bajor into the federation.”

“I guess not,” Nerys said, “only had to deal with the provisional government and the dominion and-“

“And he had you through it all,” Ezri said, “he didn’t do it alone. Maybe this new first officer will be good.”

Nerys sighed. “Maybe.”

“If you ask me,” Quark said, coming up to refill their drinks, “we should be welcoming new people here as often as we can.”

“Lucky we didn’t ask you, then.” Nerys said, dryly, taking her glass and raising an eyebrow. He was definitely listening in, which was always a chance in this bar, but she didn’t have to like it.

“Quark,” Ezri said, brightly, “who would have expected such a welcoming response?” 

“I’m a people person!” Quark said, raising his arms, “I like meeting everyone new who comes around.”

“Yeah, sure,” Nerys said, “more people for you to swindle.”

Quark leaned in, “I don’t understand why you’re so afraid of getting transferred, Commander,” he said with his classic devious smile, “if you don’t leave, pretty soon the last people at this station will be you, and me.”

Quark winked and Nerys felt a shiver that wracked her whole body. “Alright, Quark, go on,” Ezri said, “I’m sure your nephew could use your support right now.”

“Alright, Alright,” He said smirking at them, “Farewell ladies.”

Nerys bristled. “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Ezri chuckled.

“Ops to Commander Kira,” her combadge spoke up. Nerys still wasn’t used to that title. It was so...starfleet. 

Nerys touched her combadge “Go ahead.”

“There’s an incoming ship that wasn’t scheduled.” The lieutenant, Paval, said, “It’s badly damaged.” 

Nerys nodded, “I’ll be right there.” She looked to Nog who was now drinking some odd and probably terrible concoction Quark had made for him. “Give him my apologies, won’t you?”

Ezri nodded, “Of course.”

Nerys arrived at the bridge with her usual gravitas and resting bitch face. That’s what one of the human ensigns had called it anyway, and she embraced it. 

On the screen was a federation ship of a class she didn’t recognize, with faltering engines. “Status,” she demanded of her ops crew. 

“Three life signs on board, heavy damage to communications, life support systems and warp drive.” Lieutenant Paval said, typing something on her control pad. 

“Can we beam them on board?” Nerys asked. 

“Their shields are up, it looks like they’re using it to hold the ship together,” Paval said.

“Well, order them to drop shields, so we can beam them on board.” A lot of problems for Nerys boiled down to ‘get rid of the obstacle and then do the thing the obstacle prevented you from doing.’

“They’ve ordered me not to do that,” Lieutenant Paval said, sounding appropriately nervous. 

Her nerves did not spare her as Nerys turned on her. “On whose authority?” she demanded.

Paval shuddered, “Uh...the first officer of the station?” she said, “He...he’s communicating through written messages.”

Nerys could feel her eyebrows doing that thing where the twitched, which never failed to make Paval flinch, but she couldn’t help it. “And what, pray tell, is the First Officer of this station’s alternative?”

“He’s ordered me to divert energy from the deflector dish to give them a boost to their shields, so that they can use their own power to stabilize their warp core and then we can tractor them into the docking bay and finish repairs on the station.” She gulped, staring at Nerys, “But...well it’s unorthodox, so I thought I should check with you.”

Nerys turned back to the shuttlecraft in her screens, thinking quickly. “Quite the engineer, our new first officer.”

“The new chief engineer is with him,” Paval said. “It’s her plan, apparently.”

She bit her tongue, thinking. “Will it work?”

Paval resisted shrugging, “Theoretically yes, but it’s riskier.”

Nerys took a deep sigh. With just a slight nod of her head, she gave Paval the order. Quickly, the lieutenant diverted energy as requested. 

She watched a beam of light extend out to the shuttle and ripple along the shields. She could see some of the damage repair itself from the inside. It seemed to be working, but it still didn’t look like it was in flyable condition. 

The tractor beam went out, pulling the shuttle to the station. As Nerys watched it disappear into the docking ring, the station gave a shudder. “What was that?”

“Their warp core breeched!” Paval said, fingers flying across the screen, “I’m installing shields around the shuttle to prevent—“ She froze. “Um. The Engineer seems to have it handled.”

“How?” Nerys demanded.

“I’m—I’m not sure!” Paval said, voice going into a squeak as it did when she was stressed.

Nerys furrowed her eyebrows, and marched to the turbo lift without another word.

People seemed to sense whenever she was upset, parting like waves in the sea as she passed. One time a tourist didn’t pick up the signals and she barged right into him. No one made that mistake again. 

She marched over to the docking ring where there was a small crowd of people. A man in a Starfleet uniform was standing in front of them, holding an infant child in his arms. “Everyone just calm down and return to your business. The situation is well in hand, there won’t be any more disturbances. Thank you for your concern and—“

“What the hell was that?” Nerys demanded of him as she came up. 

The man swiveled, a blonde human carrying what seemed to be a Klingon child, or part Klingon anyway. He took just a moment to absorb her appearance. “Ah, Commander,” he said, “Pleased to meet you, I’m Tom Paris, your new first officer.” 

“You were scheduled to come in on a transport from Earth,” Kira said, “Not...whatever that was that could have blown up our station.”

“It’s our own personal shuttle craft,” Paris said, “The Alpha flyer. My wife and I designed and built it ourselves, I promise it’s all up to code.”

“And yet you decided to pull it into the station with a breeched core?!” She knew she wasn’t helping the looks around them, as the crowd started muffled chatter.

The man, Lt. Commander Paris, picked up on it to. “Let’s take this to the engineering corridor, shall we?” He asked. 

She wished he hadn’t. Now he was leading the conversation and she didn’t like it. But still, it was the smart decision, so she marched past him to the corridor. 

Inside she saw Nog, fretting about at the edges of the corridor. “Nog, what are you doing here?” Nerys said, “You should be at the party.” 

“I just wanted to help out, Commander,” Nog said, “But uh, well she—“

“WHY IS THE MAGNETIC DIFFUSER ATTACHED TO THE TRACTOR BEAM?!” A loud and harsh voice came from the Jeffries Tube.

Paris cleared his throat as loudly as he could, “B’Elanna, our new commander is here.”

“Good,” the voice said, and there was a great deal of banging and clanging as Nerys watched the woman crawl out. She was also part Klingon, eyes full of anger,“Maybe you can give me an answer then. Why in all of the Alpha Quadrant is the Magnetic Diffuser hooked up to the Tractor beam?” She lifted up a plug and series of cords Nerys recognized from her star fleet crash course as a magnetic diffuser. 

Nog made a pained squeaking noise, “Cardassian tractor beams produce a lot of excess magnetic energy! We needed to get rid of it to make it work with Starfleet systems.”

“Then why didn’t you just remove it and replace it with a Starfleet tractor beam?!” She said through clenched teeth. Nerys could feel Nog shrinking beside her. 

“Lieutenant,” Nerys ordered in her sharpest voice, “Maybe you’d like to learn how our systems work instead of destroying them the moment you’ve arrived.”

The woman stood up, about the same height as Nerys, full of a chaotic energy she would have recognized in herself a few years ago. “This magnetic diffuser interfered with the Alpha Flier’s shields that were keeping the core intact. It’s lucky I was able to counteract it as soon as I was or the whole station might have been destroyed!”

“And that wouldn’t have happened at all if you had dropped your shields and allowed us to beam you aboard like you had been ordered!” Nerys threw back in her face, giving as good as she got. 

“It would have been completely safe if your tractor beam wasn’t a Frankenstein’s monster of a system!” B’Elanna snarled, her nose just about touching hers like they were about to start head butting. 

“Alright, Alright!” Tom Paris said, stepping in between the both of them. “Commander Kira, we’re very sorry that our first meeting with you was under such stressful circumstances, and that our actions put the Station at risk, we never would have done that if we thought it was a possibility. But everything’s safe now, the Flier will need repairs but those can wait. My wife and I would like to settle into our quarters now and put our daughter to bed, we’ve had a long day.” 

Both women’s eyes fell on the girl, who was staring blankly at Nerys with her fingers in her mouth. She didn’t seem all that disturbed by her long day nor the yelling that was happening. 

B’Elanna held out her arms and took her daughter. The young girl hugged her mother, but still looked over her shoulder to stare at Nerys. “Ensign,” Nerys said, turning to Ensign Mavin standing awkwardly in the door. “Show the Lieutenant commanders to their quarters, please.”

Tom Paris retrieved some of the bags by the door he apparently didn’t want to transport. B’Elanna didn’t look back at her as they left for the Habitat Ring. 

Nog took a deep breath. “She is...quite a piece of work,” he said, watching the small family go. 

“She is,” Nerys said, watching as well. The child was looking over at her again. “Come on. Let the others handle the repairs. We gotta get you back to the party.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerys continues to have issues with B'elanna, and the issues spread to the rest of her crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are irregular because of the fun times we're in. woot.

Nog was gone. Nerys wasn’t about to go drinking away her problems, she knew better than that. Instead, she hid from them in the holosuite. 

“Any requests?” Vic asked her, “Maybe ‘Under my skin?’ Or ‘The Way you Look Tonight?’”

She sighs, tapping her fingers on the table. “How about ‘The Best is Yet to Come.”

“I can give it my best shot,” Vic said, swinging his holographic microphone, “But I don’t think I can get it as good without Ben here.”

Nerys sighed, resting her head on her hands. “Yeah. You’re right,” she said, collapsing on the table, “It’ll never be as good as it used to be.”

“Hey, now, Dollface,” Vic said, jumping down from the stage and pulling up a chair, sitting in it backwards, “Come on, I think Julian’s got a holo image of him somewhere in here, give me a few minutes to get rid of the weird suit and I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“No,” Nerys said, picking her head up, “No it’s not that. I just,” she sighed, trying to verbalize it, “I just miss the old days. And I don’t know how to make things like it again.”

Vic smiled at her, “Hey, you can’t re-create the past sweetheart. Except in here, of course,” he gave her one of his charming winks. 

“I know, I know,” she said, “I feel guilty, though, you know? That I actually miss the days we were at war. Everything’s FINE now, but it’s not, at the same time, and it’s…” she massaged her temples, “It’s confusing. I just want to get away from it all for a little while.”

Vic tilted his head, trying to catch her eyes. “You want some advice, or just came for the tunes?”

Nerys considered. “You know I’ll always listen to what you have to say, Vic.”

He smiled brightly, “This might be hypocritical, but I think you’ve got your grip too tight on the past. You got these new folks comin in—“

“How did you know about that?” She interrupted him.

He gave her a wink, “You’re not the only one looking for some songs dollface. Nog came in for a last performance before he left, told me about the new broad.”

Nerys snorted, “Please call her that to her face.”

“If she comes in here.” He said, “Period specific language, baby, and my nose doesn’t break when I get hit.” Nerys chuckled, imagining the interaction. “Look, you’re the Commander now, which means you’re the one who’s gotta roll out the welcome wagon. Let these people in, they might surprise you. It’s not like the old ragtag gang was all hand-holding all the time. Let ‘em warm up.” 

Nerys smiled, considering what to do about her new crew. “Not bad advice, Vic,” She said, “You wanna command the station?”

“Hey, I’m all talk and holo-emitters, anyone can tell ya that,” he said, getting back up to the stage, “When in doubt, I just ask, what would Sisko do. Now,” He grabbed the microphone, “How about that song?”

What would Sisko do, Nerys kept thinking over the next several days. Well, for a start, he probably wouldn’t have burned the hasperat. 

She pulled the pan off the stove as fast as she could, but that only made a bloom of fire the computer instantly put out. She knew she should have gone with a warming plate. 

A beep came from the door, “Um, come in,” Nerys said, “At your own risk,” she added, mumbling as the door slid open.

Julian walked through, “Whoa, what happened here?” he said, swiping away at the smoke. 

“Ah,” Nerys said, opening up the dish to see the damage, “Dinner.”

The smoke was vented fairly quickly. Julian came up and examined the remains beside her. “You know,” he said, “It’s better to have the food well done than under. From a doctor’s point of view.”

Nerys gave him a flat look. “Go sit down.”

Ezri and the security officer, Maaslan, came in not long after. Maaslan was nice enough, a handsome looking Betazoid man. Nerys wasn’t all together comfortable with mind readers, which of course he knew. His mind reading was useful in his job (though Quark took some reading of his own). Mostly they kept their distance from one another, trying to keep things professional. She couldn’t help thinking about who he was replacing, and she hated that. 

As Nerys was passing out dishes and trying to remember things Sisko told her about presentation, the door pinged. “Come in,” She called, knowing who must be there. 

Lt. Commander Paris stepped in first, holding a replicated bottle of wine, and dressed….It looked like vintage human fashion, with a bright button down shirt and….what were they called? Slacks. “Hey,” he said, “I hope we’re not late.”

From behind him came B’elanna Torres stepped out, dressed a bit more normally for the times, though managed to match him. She held her arms behind her back, and looked practically demure compared to when they had first met. 

She met her eyes for a moment, before B’elanna quickly looked away. 

“Welcome,” Nerys said, “Please, sit down. I’ve prepared some Hasperat and Mapa bread for us to have. Careful of the Moba dip, it’s still very hot”

“Oh, excellent,” Tom said, sitting, “I haven’t had much Bajoran food.” B’elanna settled in beside him, as he looked over the other officers. “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Tom Paris, this is my wife, B’elanna Torres.”

Julian, Ezri, and Maaslan all introduced each themselves. Maaslan and Ezri were sitting together, Kira on Ezri’s other side, while Julian sat beside Tom….putting Nerys directly across from B’elanna.

Tom was the first brave enough to bite into the Hasparat, possibly because he didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to be as black as it was. “Mm,” he said, his eyes going a bit wide, “Real good,” he mumbled awkwardly, trying to swallow it down. 

Everyone else picked at their food in relative silence. “So,” Julian said, trying to break the tension, “You both were on the Voyager mission. What sort of interesting things await us in the Delta Quadrant?”

Tom straightened, thinking over his answer. “I mean. My personal favorite was this newfound federation. Four different cultures, had been at war for centuries, finally found peace and celebrated it with a race. B’elanna and I competed in that, with the Delta flyer. That’s the predecessor to the Alpha flyer.” He smiled, looking at his wife fondly as he explained. She gave a nervous smile. “But, uh, yeah. It was like seeing an early Federation. Maybe one day we’ll run into them.” 

The officers smiled, “We’ll look forward to it,” Ezri mentioned. “And you, B’elanna?”

B’elanna looked surprised to have been addressed. She swallowed her bite as quickly as she could, trying to muffle a cough as it didn’t settle quite properly. “I think all of the best things weren’t about what we found out there,” she said, “It was just, being on the ship. All the experiences we created together.”

The senior staff smiled at that statement, though Nerys felt something sick in her stomach. She thought maybe it was the hasperat, but wasn’t sure. “That’s very true,” Tom said, “I mean, Creating ways just to pass the time was practically an adventure in itself. I wouldn’t have started writing holonovels if it wasn’t something to do.”

“Holonovels?” Julian said, perking up like a button deep in his soul had been pushed. Nerys knew since he and Ezri broke up, he’d been looking for a new holosuite partner. She’d tried to go with him once, some Earth battle fighting against crusaders? Needless to say, Nerys didn’t see the appeal and left quickly. “What sort?”

Tom latched onto Julian’s attention, launching into an explanation about 20th century fiction, a town in a place called Ireland? And other programs that seemed primarily based in Earth culture the non-humans at the table quickly lost interest in. 

After a few minutes, Ezri started chatting with Maaslan about some paper on criminal psychology they had both read. Nerys knew that Ezri kind of had a crush on him, which he no doubt knew as well. 

Maaslan’s eyes kept flickering over to B’elanna, though, which was interesting. Nerys knew he made an effort not to read minds when he could help it, still, sometimes he couldn’t. She wondered what B’elanna was thinking. 

Well, one way to find out. What would Sisko do, right?

Nerys swallowed a bite of hasparat that was somehow both burnt and a little frozen. “So, Lieutenant,” Nerys spoke up. B’elanna blinked again, surprised at the attention, “How….how are the repairs to the station coming?”

She wished she could have thought of a better topic, but something must be better than nothing. B’elanna put a napkin to her mouth, and Nerys wasn’t sure, but she thought she was spitting out the food. “Good,” she said, simply. Realizing more was necessary for the conversation she said, “Actually, I--” she cut herself off with a look to her husband, “nevermind.”

“What is it?” Nerys asked. 

B’elanna shook her head, Tom briefly distracted from his conversation to share a meaningful look with her. “It’s business. I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow on duty.”

Nerys opened her mouth, unsure of where to go with it. Curiosity overwhelmed her. “Oh, it’s alright, if you have an idea I want to hear about it.”

Tom’s hand disappeared below the table, and Nerys was sure it was some sort of warning to B’elanna, but she went forward anyway. “I’d like to use borg nanites to help assimilate the systems.”

The first moment left Nerys in stunned silence. The second, she barked out a laugh, stopping the other conversations dead. “You can’t be serious,” she said.

B’elanna straightened, staring her in the eye to face the challenge. “I was first hesitant to use borg technology on Voyager’s systems,” she said, words a conceit, but face a brick wall, “And on a normal starfleet station, I wouldn’t try it. But this station is a...a hodge podge! Of all sorts of different technologies. Cardassian, Bajoran, Starfleet, Klingon….even Ferengi! None of these systems were designed to work together, and patching each new problem as it comes up is a fool’s plan.

Kira scowled, unsure if she or O’brien would be the fool here, but she didn’t like either answer. “So your solution is to add in another foreign system made with the intent to wipe out all life?”

“Not wipe out,” B’elanna said, “Assimilate.” 

Nerys scoffed, “oh, so much more reassuring.”

B’elanna took a deep breath, “The technology was specifically designed to take mechanical systems from multiple cultures and make them work as a cohesive unit. Now, unless you want a complete overhaul of the station’s systems, which will take YEARS, this is the clear solution.”

“There’s nothing ‘clear’ about it!” Nerys said, feeling the heat in her veins. “I’m not assimilating my own station!”

“It’s not--!” B’elanna actually growled a bit, clearly trying and failing to keep her temper in check. “I have used this technology before, I’m well versed in it, just as I am with Cardassian, Starfleet, Bajoran AND Klingon systems. I’ve drawn up specs, you can look at them, it’ll work!”

“I don’t need to look at anything!” Nerys hissed, “This station has worked fine for years, and you think you can just come in and change all the hard work that’s been put into it?”

“Yes, I do, actually,” B’elanna said, leaning forward again, temper rising with each passing second. “I am the chief engineer of this station now, and it’s my job to figure out how all that ‘hard work’ led to this giant mess!”

Nerys jumped to her feet, hands on her table, staring her down. “This ‘mess’ was established by a genius. Maybe you’re just not accomplished enough to handle the systems!” 

B’elanna jumped to face her, making the rest of the table stand up as well, ready to step in between them. “You don’t know the HALF of what I’ve accomplished.”

“Hey now,” Tom said, the only one to dare speak up. He tried to wedge himself between B’elanna and the table, but there simply wasn’t room.

Nerys spoke over him, ignoring Ezri’s pleading hand on her shoulder, “Whatever you’ve accomplished clearly hasn’t prepared you to belong here!”

B’elanna snarled, slamming her fist on the table. The Moja dip went flying out of the dish, landing straight onto Tom’s hand. 

He hissed in pain, quickly pulling B’elanna’s attention away. “Tom!” she shouted, taking his hand, “I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he said, biting back his pain. 

Julian whipped out his tricorder, quickly going over the injury. “It’s a fairly minor burn, but I’d still like to take you to the infirmary to get a look at it.” Whether he meant it, or just wanted to stop the party was unclear. Either way, he escorted Tom out, B’elanna fretting behind him. She sent one last glare Nerys’ way. 

As soon as the door shut, Nerys threw her silverware on the table. “Well, that went well.”

Maaslan and Ezri were silent, staring at her. “Spit it out before you hurt yourself,” Nerys said, going to clean up the sad remains of dinner. “I know, I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Ezri said, her face a mixture of pitying and disappointment. “You also shouldn’t have shot down her idea.”

“Did you hear what she said?” Nerys said, gesturing at the door, “Nanites? Crawling around the station?”

“Was it the fact you didn’t like the idea,” Ezri said, painfully reasonable, “Or the fact her suggestion seemed to imply some sort of insult towards O’brien’s work.”

Nerys scoffed, not able to answer right away. She had been mad, but couldn’t figure out why in the moment. “It’s not just defensiveness,” Nerys said, “She thought we were all idiots! Like we haven’t been doing this before she got here!” 

“She didn’t think that,” Maaslan answered. Nerys locked him into a stare, a little unnerved by the dark eyes. “Klingons think loudly. She knew that, and told me I could look but not to go digging.” He took a breath, “The point is, she didn’t think you or the former Chief were idiots. She respected the work that both you have done, but had a way of making it better.”

Nerys narrowed her eyes, not believing this ‘respect’ nonsense for a moment. “She’s insubordinate, aggressive, rude--”

“So are you!” Ezri blurted out. Nerys gaped at her, “Sorry! You’re a close friend and I love you dearly, but you know perfectly well you have your own issues. Except now you’re a Commander, you can’t afford to explode at people anymore.”

Nerys had no response to that. Maaslan cleared his throat. “Forgive me, Commander, but it doesn’t take a telepath to know you don’t like anything new that has come along.”

“That’s not-”

“It kinda is,” Ezri said, before she could finish, “Look, we’ve all gone through a lot of changes in the last few years. It’s natural to want something stable.”

Nerys bit her tongue, refusing to yell again. “So what am I supposed to do? I tried to open my door to her just like Sisko did, and she threw it back in my face!”

“If I may,” Maaslan said, painfully polite, “An apology and some form of peacemaking seems appropriate.”

Nerys looked between the two of them. Ezri raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, saying how she agreed with him. Nerys scoffed and headed for the door. 

Before she reached it, Ezri grabbed her hand. “If you want to talk after, and you’re ok with my ‘shrink’ voice, let me know.”

Nerys only gave her a quick nod before heading out. 

The infirmary’s doors were open wide, so she made no noise as she entered. She didn’t see B’elanna, but she heard Julian’s voice from deeper inside. “...Sure she’s fine to be alone?”

Tom’s voice responded, “She just needs time to cool off. She’ll give the babysitter a break early and be fine in a few hours.”

Nerys sighed. So she wasn’t even here. She was about to turn on her heel, when she heard her name. “I haven’t seen Kira that fired up in a long while,” Julian said over the sound of some medical tool. 

“Oh, I’ve seen B’elanna fired up about a lot of things. Usually at me.” They both shared a small chuckle, “She’s usually right, though. She just doesn’t always present it well. I told her to tell the Commander about it at work, but she was so excited.”

“Oh, don’t worry about Kira,” Julian said, “She’s….strongly opinionated, but she’s reasonable. She’s just...she’s been struggling.”

“Oh?” Tom said, “Anything I can help with? As her first officer, I mean, I feel like I still don’t know her very well.”

Julian sighed. Nerys felt glued to the floor, not wanting to hear whatever her ‘struggle’ was, but unable to turn away. “She’s taken a lot of the people leaving here personally. She grew up in a warzone, it’s understandable she has some abandonment issues.” Nerys flinched. “To be honest, I’ve been unsure of how to tell her that I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving?” Tom asked, unknowingly echoing Nerys’ thoughts. 

“Not sure when,” Julian said, “But a, um. An old friend of mine and I recently reconnected. He’s been bugging me to come help him with recovery efforts on Cardassia, and I think it’s about time I took him up.” He sighed. “I know the station will be fine without me, but...I still hate to leave.”

Nerys couldn’t listen any longer. Her feet carried her out of the infirmary to the docking ring, almost as if she was in a trance. 

Screw close friends. Screw shrinks. Screw seemingly wise holoprograms. Nerys needed more than that, she needed to call in the Big Guns. 

“Ensign,” she snapped at the officer on duty. He jerked to attention. “Get me a shuttle ready to leave now.”

The Ensign nodded, quickly inputting the requested data. It wasn’t regular to just demand a shuttlecraft, but there are benefits to being Commander. “Uh, is there a destination you’d like me to put in?”

Nerys was tempted to say it was none of his business. Unfortunately, her sense of responsibility stopped her from going completely off the grid with no way to reach her. “Bajor,” she told him, “I need to visit the Emmissary.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerys goes to the one person she can depend on when she is most lost.

Kira took a moment as the shuttlepod landed for a deep breath of Bajoran air. She’d traveled to several worlds now, but there would never be a planet like Bajor, no air as sweet, no grass as green, no flowers that bloomed the right way. The station was her home, but she couldn’t deny, this was a good spot. While it had been night there, it was just getting to midday now.

A dart of movement jerked her out of her reminiscing. She turned and smiled at the small ball of energy that ran at her. “Aunt Nerys! Aunt Nerys!” the little girl yelled, “You’re really here!” 

Nerys squatted down and opened her arms, scooping the girl up as she ran into her, “Hello Rebecca!” Nerys said, swinging her around to make her giggle, “Is your dad home?”

“Uh-huh!” Rebecca said, curls bouncing, “He’s heating up the Jumbalaya, he said you’re later than he was expecting.”

Nerys frowned a bit at that, before settling back into a smile. She had not sent a message that she was coming, in fact on the way down prepared an apology for bursting in on them. She had worried about what if he wasn’t even home, but she was already on her way so didn’t try to stop. 

Nerys carried Rebecca into the idyllic house, an Earth model. It was becoming a fad to build houses like this one, and beyond just the trendsetting factor, she could understand why. 

As the door creaked open, she smiled at the back of her friend, mentor, and practically religious leader. “Hello, Captain,” she said.

Ben Sisko turned around looking almost surprised. Then, his eyes quickly curved into a smile, “Nerys,” he said, opening up his arms, “How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Ben?”

“Shouldn’t you know the answer to that?” Nerys said, smirking. 

3 and a half years ago, a few weeks after Starfleet had declared him lost, Benjamin Sisko returned from his training with the prophets, on the day he was needed most: the day of his daughter’s birth. Cassidy had thoroughly ripped into him for missing most of her pregnancy, Jake cried and held him close, and then Cassidy held him close too, just as she went into labor. 

It had taken all the willpower Nerys had to let the family have their moment and not rush in to grab him as well, to make sure it was real. The Bajoran’s declared the day a holy day, the return of their Emmissary, but for Nerys, she was happy to have her friend back. 

Starfleet, still in the midst of transitioning the Bajorans to the Federation, quickly offered Sisko his position back, but he declined, declaring his intentions to live on Bajor full time, and be there for those who would need them. There was no doubt he was different, more relaxed, more at ease, but also more...distant. Somehow present and absent at the same moment. 

He tried to describe it to Nerys once. “Imagine a maze on a flat surface, and a 2 dimensional being on the maze. He’s restricted by the walls, tries and tries again to find his way through, but has no way of knowing which way is right or wrong. We, meanwhile, are 3 dimensional. We can simply pass over the walls, as though they were nothing. This maze is hardly a floor tile to us.”

Nerys had nodded, trying to follow along, “So, you’re extra-dimensional now?” 

Ben rubbed his head, “Not exactly. The prophets are, they’re 4th dimensional, as Starfleet’s scientists would say. I just...I got a peak of what’s over the walls.”

Nerys blinked, “You...you know the future?”

Ben opened his mouth, “Some, I guess you could call it,” he said, “My own future, not others, but in that I can see how the paths overlap. I...human brains weren’t really meant to see that, so it’s a lot to process, sometimes too much. But I think….I think I can use it to help.”

Over the past few years, Nerys hadn’t seen a lot of Benjamin, but she’d heard from him, and seen what he meant. He saw him accidentally call Ezri ‘Jadzia’ or even ‘Curzon,’ and heard complaints from Cassidy that he’d left Rebecca home alone once, thinking she was much older than she was. 

On the other side, she’d seen all the Bajoran people who had come to him for help. If you just wanted some favor or fortune, he’d mysteriously be away, but for those who really needed him, his doors were always open. 

As Benjamin released her today, she wondered if she now counted as one who really needed him. “How’s Crizen?” he said, still beaming.

Nerys balked, “Crizen?” 

Ben frowned at her reaction, then looked at the wall. The stardate was illuminated from a spot, so he could look right at it. “Ah, little early. Forget I said anything.”

Nerys blinked, shaking her head as she turned the name over in her mind. Maybe Crizen was a new officer she’d be getting? But the name sounded almost Cardassian….

Rebecca interrupted, pulling on Nerys’ hand. “Aunt Nerys, you can sit in mommy’s spot for lunch, she’s at work right now, and she won’t mind I promise.”

Nerys felt herself instantly brighten, “Thank you, Rebecca,” she said, gratefully, “I appreciate it.”

Rebecca lead her over to the table, where three spots were set. The Hasperat hadn’t filled her at all, so the smell of something freshly cooked made her stomach rumble. “Mommy let me go on her last cargo run,” Rebecca informed her, “It was SO FUN, we went really fast and all the stars were like WHOOSH!”

Rebecca continued to entertain Nerys with tales of flying through space. She beamed at her, making all the appropriate noises at each surprising bit of information. Rebecca ate it up, sending them both into a feedback loop of smiles until they were done with food, and Rebecca started yawning. 

“I think it’s time for a nap,” Ben finally said, speaking up. He’d silently watched and listened as they talked.

Rebecca frowned at him, “I’m not tired!” she protested, fighting back a second yawn. 

“Well, try to lie down and think up some fun stories anyway,” Ben said, opening his arms to carry her. She reluctantly fell into his arms and let herself be taken away, “Besides, Aunt Nerys and I have some boring adult stuff to talk about.”

The words were like cold water poured over Nerys’ mood. She had been so distracted by Rebecca’s words, she had forgot the reason for her visit. 

She waited patiently at the table, sitting in Cassidy’s place as Ben put Rebecca down to sleep. She looked around at the decorations. You wouldn’t know this was a home from for one of the most revered figures in Bajoran religion. It was mostly just pictures, a whole wall. Ben and Cassidy’s wedding, Rebecca’s birth, fishing with Ben and Jake, old pictures of Jennifer, Cassidy and her brother, family photos. Nery’s eyes fell on a picture of the Niners. She smiled a bit. She hadn’t played baseball in a while. 

She couldn’t figure out why looking at the pictures made her sad. 

Ben came out of Rebecca’s room with a sigh, jerking her out of her thoughts, “Come on,” Ben said, leading her to the door, “Let’s go play some catch.” 

The Sisko’s had a large yard out back, maintained into a baseball diamond. “So, uh,” Nerys said, following him as he grabbed a ball and a couple mitts, “I suppose you know why I’m here?”

“I have an inkling,” He said, “Why don’t you tell me anyway?”

Nerys bit her tongue as Ben tossed her the mitt. “Starfleet transferred a married couple to the station,” she said, “And I keep butting heads with the new chief officer. She’s stubborn, clearly has a temper, and has crazy ideas about how to do things.”

“That part sounds familiar,” Ben said, “I think I had an officer like that once. Yelled at me that they didn’t need Starfleet there.”

Nerys sighed, remembering back to her first meeting with Ben. He threw the ball over to her. “I get it, I see the similarities between us, really. But,” She tossed it back to him, “I’m not you. I don’t know how to handle it. Maybe we’re TOO similar.”

Ben hummed, tossing the ball back. “If this were a matter of command structure, you’d go to your commanding officer, Admiral….who’s the Admiral right now?”

“Chen,” she replied, tossing it again. “And you know I don’t like him.”

“You’d still go to him,” he said, “You might not like the way Starfleet does things, but you respect it. You’ve learned the rules, and know when to follow them, and when not to.” 

Nerys caught the ball, reeling a bit at the strong throw he’d put toward her. He was trying to throw her off guard, in more ways than one. “Everyone keeps saying I’m holding onto the past,” She said, “That I don’t like things just because they’re new.”

“What do you think?” Ben asked, easily catching the curveball Nerys tried. 

Nerys’ gaze wandered back to Ben’s house. “I know I don’t want to be,” she said, turning back to catch his throw, “I always hated people who didn’t want to change just because something was always done one way. I can hardly be called a traditionalist.”

Ben hummed, considering the baseball in his hand. “You know what I love about Baseball?”

Nerys snorted, “Is this a trick question?” She said, “Everything? Is the answer everything?”

“No!” Ben protested, then thought, “Well, maybe.” She snorted again, having to dodge as he threw the ball at her in penalty. “What I was referring to, though, is the fact it’s a team sport. A lot of people all doing different things to keep the game going. But when a team has been working together for a while, you can hardly tell they’re different people. The team works as a unit.”

“This is why I play Springball,” Nerys said, picking up the fallen ball and tossing it back.

“Your avoiding my metaphor,” Ben protested, and she was worried he’d try to pelt her again.

Nerys sighed. “You’re saying I miss my old team,” she said, “We worked well together, and now I’m trying to adjust to a new one.”

“Close,” he said, “Your family, Nerys. You miss your family.”

Nerys dropped the ball. She stared up at him. “My family died a long time ago.”

“Yes,” Ben said, “When you were far too young. And you got a new family in the resistance, and they died too.”

Nerys looked down and away, trying to find where the ball had fallen to. “Are you going to say I lost the family on DS9 too?” 

“No,” Ben said, looking at her, wearing the face of Emmissary, not dear friend. 

“Good,” Nerys said, “because you know I loved them. But they all have their own families.” 

He hummed, “You know, a family can be more than those sort of structures.”

“That’s easy for you to say!” She snapped, digging through the bushes. “You who were married, and then remarried. Your perfect two kids, your idyllic little New Orleans style home, your still living Dad comes to visit at sometimes!”

Ben just waited, annoyingly silent. “I love you all,” She said, “But the O’briens moved as a unit to Earth. Nog is leaving for Ferenginar to be closer to his dad and new baby brother. Ezri has her parents she visits on Trill holidays, and she probably has a boyfriend by now that she doesn’t want me to know about. And now Julian’s leaving to be with HIS boyfriend, or soon-to-be boyfriend, it doesn’t matter.” She grit her teeth, finally spotting where the ball had rolled off to, and snatched it off the ground. “You can claim I’m part of your family all you want, but that doesn’t stop you from leaving.”

She freezes as she feels an arm on her back. She turned to see Ben directly behind her. His arms were open. She didn’t need a second prompting falling into them. He gripped her close, like he did for Jake and Rebecca. 

“Family separates sometimes,” He said, “But you know anytime you come here, I’ll be here for you. If you go to Earth, the O’briens will welcome you with open arms. If you go to Cardassia, Julian and Garak will greet you warmly.”

Nerys banged her head on his shoulder, “Garak is my family now?” It occurred to her she hadn’t actually mentioned Garak by name, but she supposed it wasn’t too hard to guess even if you didn’t have prophet powers. 

She could hear Ben smile. “We don’t always like everyone in our families.”

Nerys chuckled, leaning into the hug. “So what am I supposed to do?” She said, “This doesn’t solve my problem with Torres.” 

Ben leaned away. “What’s the first thing you told me about her?” 

Nerys thought back. “She’s stubborn?”

“She’s married,” He said, “Someone a lot like you, with a husband and daughter.” 

Nerys smirked, “You know I didn’t mention her daughter.”

“Didn’t you?” He said, frowning, and scanning his own memory. “Huh.”

“I don’t like being jealous either,” Nerys said. It made her feel icky inside.

He nodded. “Don’t, then.”

She smirked, “Thanks for the advice, Emmissary.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not a counselor,” He said, “And I don’t have the answers either. But I know who does.”

She squinted at him, trying to figure him out. Then she realized who he meant. “Oh come on,” She said, “She hates me.” 

“Who better to give you unbiased advice?” Ben said. “Now go on. Rebecca’s waking from her nap, and you need to fly back before you fall asleep on your feet.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but ends up yawning. “Alright, you’re right about this one, Captain.”

He smirks at her. “I mean it, you know,” He said, “You’re welcome here whenever you want.”

She nodded, and let him escort her back to her shuttle. 

The next day, she had off, so she allowed herself to sleep in, a luxury she found hard to get accustomed to, but thoroughly enjoyed these days. 

Even once she was awake, she stayed in bed, going over news reports on her datapad. She was debating getting something from the replicator when her door alarm rang. 

On the other side was, of all people, B’elanna Torres. 

The lieutenant swallowed, looking at her. “I like it here,” she said, without preamble. “For the past year, Tom and I stayed on Earth, in semi-retirement. It was good for caring for Miral, but we were both going crazy. We built the Alpha Flyer, but it wasn’t enough. We both wanted to work again.”

She swallowed, maybe waiting for Nerys to respond, but she just let her continue. “It was hard, finding an assignment that would take us. We both were officially not in Starfleet, so we had to take those stupid remedial classes. After that, we wanted a place for Miral to have some stability. Tom was a starfleet brat, and hated it, moving schools all the time. We were hoping that working at a station would let her have a stable life, while we could face challenges. See the Gamma Quadrant. Be one of the few people who’ve actually been to all four quadrants.” 

Nerys nodded. “That all...makes sense.”

“I have a temper, I know.” B’elanna said. “I’m working on it, and I’m.” she swallowed, “I’m sorry. Honestly. You opened up an olive branch to me, and I threw it back in your face. I think I could be a real boon here. But I really don’t want to be almost at blows with you all the time.”

Nerys looked her over. B’elanna’s teeth were clenched, and she recognized the look of making yourself seem braver than you felt. “I don’t want that either.”

B’elanna let out a breath of relief, giving a sharp nod. “I came to invite you to dinner. It’s breakfast for dinner night in our quarters, and Tom makes some pretty good pancakes.” 

Nerys had had pancakes before. They were a strange Earth concoction, but she knew Julian loved it. Then again, they couldn’t be worse than the Hasperat she’d made for them. “I appreciate it,” she said, “I’ll be there.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerys goes to the Torres/Paris quarters looking to solve her problems, and gets more than she could have asked for.

Nerys considered her outfit in the mirror. The theme for today was ‘cordial.’ She had to work with these people. According to her staff, they were good at their jobs. Even though B’elanna didn’t have the clearance yet to use her nanoprobes, she was doing well with keeping up with the systems and replacing them when they broke. Tom, meanwhile was quickly becoming popular with the crew for his easy-going manner. Apparently he was a good pilot too. 

The pair fit perfectly at DS9, except for how they interacted with her. She honestly did not want to be in the way of that. She tried to remember what Ben had told her, it wasn’t about hating new things, it was about--

“Miral, no, get down!”

….Family.

Nerys blinked as the door opened to a baby girl, most likely having somehow jumped up to activate the door’s motion sensors. Nerys had only seen the child once when the family had first arrived at the station. 

The baby, Miral, stared up at her with blank fascinated eyes again. “Hi,” Nerys said, smiling down at her, “Um, my name’s Nerys.” She was definitely too young to speak and know names, right?

A moment later, Tom came up, scooping the baby into his arms. “Sorry about that,” he said, “This one has us running wild.” He turned the baby to face him, “Now honey, we’ve talked about this, no opening up the door. 

Miral reached forward and grabbed her father’s nose, completely ignoring his point. “You’re just as bad as your mother,” he told her, face scrunched up to try and get his face away from sharp baby fingernails. 

“Tom,” they heard B’elanna’s voice from inside, “I think these are ready to flip, can you make sure?”

“Coming,” Tom said, taking the baby inside, “Come on in, Commander, make yourself at home.”

Nerys stepped in, taking in the place as Tom set up Miral in the baby chair. She wasn’t sure what decorations she was expecting, but it wasn’t quite this. A lot of it seemed to be early Earth memorabilia, from what she recognized from Julian’s holograms, though she couldn’t really identify any of it. Then there were schematics on every surface high enough to keep out of a baby’s reach, most of which she recognized as the station, or shuttles, but she wasn’t sure about all of them. 

“Hi,” B’elanna said getting her attention. She swiveled, turning to her. 

Nerys nodded at her as Tom took over the pancakes. “Hi,” she said to her, “Am I too early?” 

“No, no,” B’elanna said, “We’re just finishing up. I tried to make the first batch of pancakes, and it did not go well.”

Nerys gave a sympathetic chuckle, “I am...familiar with the issue.” She said, “Thank goodness for replicators, right?” 

“Ugh, NO kidding,” B'elanna said, “If I was responsible for feeding myself we’d have toast every night.”

“We still have toast a lot of nights,” Tom said, which earned him a glare from his wife. 

“Up!” all three adults turned to see Miral in her high chair, making grabby hands in the air. “Up!”

“It’s close to dinner time, sweetie,” B’elanna explained, even though she knew the baby wouldn’t really understand. “Mommy has to get the dinner out.”

Nerys cleared her throat, “Um, can I...may I hold her?” 

B’elanna looked between her and Miral, who was still making hand gestures. “Um, sure. Here, sit, I can bring her to you.” 

“I can hold her,” Nerys said, “I have a lot of experience with babies, I promise.” Nerys made her way over, feeling B’elanna’s eyes on her as she went. She supposed it was to be expected, being as this was her child. It was hard to accept anyone messing that up. 

Still, Nerys wasn’t kidding. It was muscle memory from when she cared for Kira Yoshi so often. She missed all the O’briens, of course, but Kira Yoshi the most. He was starting school off on Earth. They had calls every once in a while, but it was hard to think the child she’d helped bring into the world might not really have her in his life all that much. 

Miral settled in and grabbed at Nerys earring. She chuckled, bouncing the girl in her arms as she settled into an empty chair. Miral giggled enjoying the little bounce. 

Nerys looked up to B’elanna to make sure everything was ok, and to satisfy any concerns she might have, just in case. B’elanna was staring at her in a kind of wonder. “I have never seen her warm up to a stranger like that,” she said.

Nerys smiled to herself, continuing to bounce Miral and get her to giggle. She was a beautiful little girl. She wondered if B’elanna looked like this as a baby. “I...really like kids,” Nerys said, “I’ve been told I give off a vibe of not liking children? Which, I didn’t always. But I was pregnant a few years ago, and it was….a lifechanging experience.”

B’elanna took out the other parts of the dinner, Earth dishes she somewhat recognized, like bacon, sausage, and fruit. “I…” B’elanna asked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Nerys frowned at her, then thought about her wording. “Oh, the baby’s fine!” she said, “It wasn’t mine, really, I mean. I mean, I’m very close to him, of course, but it wasn’t…”She sighed, “It’s...a long story.”

Tom came over with the stack of pancakes. “Well, we’ve got time.”

Nerys smiled. 

She told the story of the O’briens baby, and all the things she had to do during the war while pregnant, even being kidnapped by Cardassians. They had smiled and listened attentively, and then told their own stories, of meeting Klingons in the Delta Quadrant who believed their daughter was the savior of their people. 

This led to telling more tales from their time in the Delta Quadrant, and more of Nerys’ stories of the Dominion war, and even Cardassian occupation, which led to both of them telling their stories of their time in the Maqui. 

The stories varied, going wildly from funny interesting moments to deep reflections on terrible times they had all gone through. It felt...well, it felt a lot like when Nerys would talk with Ezri or Julian or anyone else who had been part of her ‘found family.’ 

Why was this so hard before, she wondered. Certainly she and B’elanna were similar, almost too similar in some ways. She reminded her of herself, and some parts of herself she didn’t like, along with some parts she wished she had. 

Miral pulled them out of their more adult conversations, demanding attention and more importantly, food. Tom took a bottle to feed her, showing Nerys their “television” an ancient Earth entertainment device. 

Soon enough, Tom and Miral were dozing on the couch while Nerys and B’elanna were sipping on raktajino. “So,” B’elanna said, “At the risk of sounding like my grandmother who kind of hated me, have you ever thought of, you know, having some kids of your own?”

Nerys sighed, “I didn’t, when I was little. The occupation was so harsh, and I saw how my father struggled. I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into that.” 

B’elanna nodded sagely, “I didn’t think I would either. I don’t mean to compare my childhood to yours but...I knew whoever the father was, my child would be mixed like me. It took me a lot to get through that.” 

She looked over contemplatively at Tom, and Nerys smiled. For all the arguing, she could see how the two were a good match. “The first time I really thought about it was when I was dating a man named Bareil. He was...very kind. Temperate, so the exact opposite of me.” B’elanna smirked. “He died,” Nerys said, and it had been years, but the memory of the ache hurt.

B’elanna bowed her head, in a moment of respect. “I’m sorry.” she left it there, no other words suitable. 

Nerys accepted the sympathy. “It was...slow. Painful, I think. It took so long to even think of recovering, but…” She took a deep breath. “I dated Shakaar for a while. He was prime minister of Bajor at the time. Only stepped down about a year ago. It was good, but...it wasn’t quite right. We were both busy, and it just fell apart.”

B’elanna nodded again, “That happens. It’s somehow even harder when there’s no one to blame.” 

Nerys nodded as well, smiling that someone understood. Jadzia and Julian had acted like the friendly break up was the best possible solution, and for bajorans that was the traditional reaction, but...she wanted to break something. “And then Odo….” she trailed off, not even sure where to start with Odo.

B’elanna waited patiently. For a second or two. “Did he...do something worse than break it off or die?”

“No…” Nerys started, “Well. He did break it off. But he wasn’t cruel he…” She sighed, “He was a changeling, from the race of the Dominion founders,” B’elanna’s eyebrows went up but she said nothing, “After the war, he returned to save his people by returning to the Great Link, to sort of...dissolve amongst all the other changelings. I don’t….I don’t really know if the being I knew exists the same way anymore….”

B’elanna’s eyebrows were stuck in the surprised position as she stared down at Nerys. With a quick motion, she grabbed both Raktijinos and took them to the replicator to dissolve them, and said “Computer, two glasses and a bottle of Andorian Wine.” 

The replicator brought them to existence and B’elanna took them over to the counter. “I thought we could use something a little stronger,” she said, putting the glasses down.

Nerys chuckled, “I appreciate it, but I’m really alright.” 

B’elanna popped the cork on the wine bottle, belatedly looking over to Tom and Miral, but they didn’t move. “I have heard some crazy break up stories in my life,” she said, pouring the glass, “Really, I need to introduce you to our friend Harry. But that...that one might take the cake.”

Nerys took her glass and drank just as B’elanna did, “Honestly, I managed ok. I threw myself into work, because that’s how I cope.”

“Of course,” B’elanna nodded, non sarcastically.

“But really, I’m kind of over the whole romance thing,” Nerys said, “I understand why people want it, but...I’m fine on my own. I don’t feel the need or desire to go out and find someone. If the Prophets throws someone into my lap, fine, but short of that, I’m just...not interested.”

B’elanna nodded, “No reason you need to be,” she said, more assuredly than anyone in her life had been before. 

“But…” Nerys said, “I do feel….lonely, sometimes. When my family all of have families of their own and I...don’t.”

B’elanna placed her glass down and leaned in towards her. “You know….there are OTHER ways to make a family.”

**

“Are you sure you want me here?” B’elanna said the following week as they took a shuttle down to Bajor, “This is just. I mean it’s a major life decision, are you sure you wouldn’t prefer Ezri or someone?” 

Nerys sighed. She’d considered asking Ezri, and had talked this out with her, but the truth was… “Are you religious in any way, B’elanna?” 

B’elanna blinked, surprised, “I...wasn’t. For a long time. But ever since Voyager, I’ve reconnected some with Klingon traditions.”

Nerys nodded, “Bajoran belief is pretty heavily reliant in...in destiny. Not to say we don’t make our own decisions, but there is often a path that the prophets lay out before us. It is our choice to follow it or not. It’s not always an easy or clear decision, but….” she sighed, “This...you are my path here, the one to help guide me.”

B’elanna took a deep breath, “Never been a religious guide before,” she said, “Anything special I need to do?”

Nerys shook her head, “Just give me your best advice, and I’ll follow it.”

“Really?” B’elanna said, “What so if I told you to crash the shuttle pod you’d do it?”

“Is that your advice?” Nerys said, turning the pod into a sharper dive.

“No!” B’elanna said, “No, no. Best advice is to take us down safely.” 

Nerys chuckled, straightening out the shuttle. She didn’t know why she fought with B’elanna for so long. Being friends allowed her to torture her in much more fun ways.

They landed at Dakhur province and took a hover shuttle over to the War Orphans sanctuary. The children of the occupation were growing up, but after the Dominion occupation, a new crop of children were born and lost their parents. With their inclusion into the Federation, they were able to get more supplies, but there never seemed to be enough. 

Nerys was feeling less and less sure as she walked into the facility. B’elanna looked her over. “Calm down,” she told her.

Nerys glared at her, “And why should I?”

It was B’elanna’s turn to smile, “I knew you wouldn’t do what I told you just because.”

Nerys rolled her eyes. She had her own bluff called, it seemed. Still, the moment of levity put her nerves out of the way for just a moment, so that was worth it. Maybe that was planned, maybe not, but it worked. 

They came up to Maelis Porda, the director of the sanctuary who smiled, “Commander Kira,” She said, “We’ve seen each other so often on subspace, it’s strange to think we haven’t met in person.”

“I’m glad to meet you,” Nerys said, nodding, “Thank you for seeing me, I know the screening process can be long--”

“Oh goodness,” Porda said, waving off her words, “After all you’ve done for this sanctuary, and being leader of Deep Space Nine AND friend of the Emmissary? You are more than qualified to be mother.”

“I will be very busy,” Nerys said, and B’elanna nudged her, “But I’ll have many people who will look after the child. I just don’t think I can manage a baby.”

Porda nodded, “Thankfully, we have plenty of non-babies to choose from. Come, meet the children.” 

There were so many. Nerys knew the numbers, but there were just so many! So many children that didn’t have homes. 

Some were playing active games, chasing and screaming across the yard. Some were seated at tables and playing board games like Kadascot. Some were reading off by themselves. 

“Come,” Porda said, guiding Nerys by the arm, “I’ve picked some kids for you to talk to.”

Nerys let herself be guided, and spoke to a number of the kids, as young as three and as old as teenagers. They were sweet, or sassy, or funny, or active, and all were good of course, but Nerys wasn’t entirely sure they were her family. She supposed it would take some time to adjust.

Nerys was so absorbed trying to make one of if not the biggest decision of her life, it took her a moment to realize B’elanna had wandered off. 

Across the yard, Nerys and Porda were alerted to the sound of yelling. Looking up, they saw B’elanna holding apart a pair of small boys who definitely were trying to fight another smaller boy. Nerys ran up, only realizing when she was close that the smaller boy was Cardassian, or half cardassian.

“Everyone freeze!” Porda yelled, switching from kind and matronly to stern on a dime. The boys stopped struggling in B’elanna’s arms. “Now, what is happening?”

The older boys started speaking at the same time “Cri was hoggin the toy all for himself--”

“We were just ASKING--”

“An he was just playin all by himself not with anyone else--”

“But he went crazy--”

“He bit Larkah--”

“Enough!” Porda said, “Crizen, is this true?” she said, turning to the part Cardassian boy. 

Crizen….Crizen, where had Nerys heard that name before? 

The boy Crizen looked down, staying silent. He couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, maybe a small 6. He was clutching something in his hands. On closer inspection, it seemed to be a springball. 

“Crizen?” Porda said, “I asked you a question.”

“He was playing by himself, peacefully,” B’elanna cut in, “These two took the ball and he took it back. They were clearly teaming up on him.” 

Crizen looked up, surprised. He still held the ball in a death grip that made Nerys worried he’s pop it. When he noticed Nerys looking at him, he went back to his staring contest with the floor. 

“Alright,” Porda said, “You two are done with play time for now. Commander if you’d excuse me for a minute.” 

“Of course,” Nerys said. Porda led the two boys away, who were both still protesting. Crizen stood between Nerys and B’elanna, looking for the clearest exit. “Do you like springball?” Nerys asked.

Crizen glared up at her, but nodded. “He was pretty good, from what I could see,” B’elanna said, “Excellent form for his age.”

“Really?” Nerys asked, kneeling beside him, “Can I see?”

Crizen looked between the two women. Slowly, he nodded. He grabbed a racket that was clearly worse for wear. Nerys recognized it as one she’d donated a few years before, well made, but well used. He played against the wall, hitting the ball back and forth, always anticipating where the ball would be and hitting it expertly. 

“It must be hard,” B’elanna said to Nerys when they were out of earshot, “Being part Cardassian on Bajor. It was hard enough being part Klingon in a Federation colony.”

Nerys nodded, “I knew a part Cardassian girl. She was like a….sister? Cousin? Very dear, really….but she struggled, not belonging to one world or another.” Nerys’ face fell, remembering the fate of Ziyal.

B’elanna hummed sympathetically, “It sounds like you’re uniquely suited for caring for someone in that situation, then,” she said.

Nerys smiled. The name finally clicked for her. Benjamin had asked how Crizen was, like it was someone in her life she would tell him about. Maybe at some point she would. “Sounds like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has all been an elaborate set up to get Kira a kid. She loved Kirayoshi so much.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'elanna and Nerys enjoy their new friendship

Nerys and B’elanna sat in Quarks, watching the players at the Dabo Wheel. “It’ll take a few weeks to get everything set up,” Nerys said, absently, “But Crizen seems amenable to the idea. I’m...hopeful.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” B’elanna said, “After all, I am your..destiny guide or whatever it was.” Nerys sighed, rolling her eyes at the mockery B’elanna was making of it, but only because she knew B’elanna wasn’t really making fun of her or her beliefs. How she knew seemed odd, gaining intuition about someone in so short a time, but she trusted her. “Is that still in effect, by the way? Can I guide you to some of my engineering ideas?”

Nerys glowered at her, only prompting some of B’elanna’s own chuckles. “In seriousness,” B’elanna said, “I really think this will work. I can show you projection models, steps for working things through, and we can even run things by other engineers you trust. This O’Brien, maybe, if he’s willing to look at it.”

Nerys tapped her fingers on the table. “I’ll set up a meeting tomorrow morning,” she said, “Bring your a-game, I’m not easily won over.”

B'elanna smiled. “Nor am I.”

Nerys braced as Quark came up with their drinks. “I just heard!” Quark said, grinning from ear to giant ear, “Tell me Commander, have you picked out a Godfather yet? Because I think I could really--”

“Pick someone else?” B’elanna said, “Literally anyone else out? I saw a nice plant in the arboretum, which I think could do nicely, or at the least better at childcare than a money-crazed barkeep?”

Quark sneered at her, partially in shock. He opened his mouth about to respond, when Nerys cut him off, “That would make more sense than anything else you were about to say,” she said, “Though my question is how have you been working on this station for well over a decade and you still think that Bajorans have Godfathers in our culture? Did you miss the temple across the promenade?”

B’elanna snorted as Quark looked more and more offended. He put the drinks down, and then his hands on his hips like he was going to fight back, but this time B’elanna chimed in, “He probably missed it on his way to the nearest scam. Easy to pass by when you have latinum in your eyes.”

“Well I never--” Quark started, sounding like an old grandmother. 

“Don’t be so hard on him, Lieutenant,” Nerys said, “Quark cares about some things other than money. Like saving his own skin for instance.” 

Quark was caught between the pair of them, looking actually flustered. He opened his mouth a couple times, but when no sound came out, he turned around, leaving the drinks, and muttering something about “two of them….”

Nerys and B’elanna laughed as he shuffled away, taking their drinks and toasting them together. “I think you’re going to fit in just right here,” Nerys said, and she drank.

B’elanna smiled, nursing hers a second longer, “I’m glad,” She said, “Tom loves it here, I don’t know if I could have pulled him away--”

“IT’S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE BASED ON THE MATERIAL!” they both heard Tom yell. 

Their heads and a number of others shot up to se Tom and Julian descending from the holosuites dressed in shiny silver outfits that seemed from no actual culture Nerys could identify. 

“But there’s no internal logic!” Julian said up at him, taking the steps two at a time, “If Captain Proton had Magnatimizer the entire time, why didn’t he use it to stop Chaotica reversing the Earth’s Rotation in the first place?” 

Tom gave an exaggerated sigh, holding what seemed to be a ridiculously useless gun, with springs all over it for some reason, “Because that would sap all the dramatic potential! He can’t use it until the final act to save the day!”

“But the character’s should act and have their own motivations outside the story, or else it’s just contrived dribble!” Julian protested.

Tom gave a high pitched gasp of offense, gearing up to rain fury on his new friend, when Nerys decided it was time to step in. “Trouble in Paradise?” 

Both men turned their attention to her, having the decency to appear sheepish. Julian swallowed, “Just have some artistic differences, Commander,” he said.

“B’elanna,” Tom said, coming over beside her, “You’ve seen the shows, explain to him about 1950’s sci fi.”

“Sure,” B’elanna said, smirking, “As soon as you explain it to me, because I still don’t get it.” 

Tom hung his head, while Julian gestured in victory. “Now boys,” Nerys said, “It’s important to play nice if you want to make friends.” 

Julian gaped at her, “Are you two really going to lecture US about making friends?”

B’elanna and Nerys exchanged looks. “Yes,” they said in tandem, then toasted their drinks again.

Both men sighed, defeated.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! My tumblr is dork-empress


End file.
